I don't know why, but I keep thinking of old friends of mine..one of them i had an intense dream about even though i haven't seen him for 2 years or maybe even longer and maybe its a sign that i need to be my own best friend and i haven't been doing much of that and i don't want to see him, but every so often he shows up in my dreams and maybe its because of how close we were and how after a lack of communication after the 2nd time of reconnecting, he never reached out and i didn't either...even though it has been awhile i still wonder what it would be like to run into him- would he even say hi or amything or act like we were never friends...its something i have thought about and maybe because we haven't talked at all and i had thought of texting at one point, but honestly, if you stop communication with someone and they don't reach out, why keep it up?
Soo the other day, i realized that i was crushing on someone i used to work with and when i saw her the other day, and heard she had her boyfriend helping with her kids, I realized I was jealous of her boyfriend and also that meant i had a underlying crush.. Not so obvious signs- 1. When she was around I got really nervous and couldn't do the songs We were singing with the kids. 2. I found myself not really talking to her- even though i didnt a lot when i worked with her and now i am realizing why... I didn't want to get caught staring and start rambling, so a lot of the time i didn't say much... 3. When she was around I got busy doing stuff so she wouldn't think i was staring and i didn't want to mess up when she was around.. 4. Finally, i hadn't seen her since October and the first time she saw me she gave me a hug and i could smell her and feel her wet hair brush up against my cheek... Right then it was the bright spot of the morning and i couldn't s...
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