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Non Vanilla Thoughts...

So I have been meaning to blog for awhile and now I am actually doing it. Funny thing is that in order to blog, I need to have privacy and be by myself...which I guess is privacy lol...anywho, I blog about my sexuality on the site I'm on, but I haven't used this for ages.

Anywho, I couldn't sleep last night and I started to think of the times that I don't fit in with the rest of my family and it occurred to me that the reason was because I am less vanilla than they are.

Let me explain-
1. My mind is a very sexual place!- there are so many times I am thinking about what it would be like to wear a collar and just have some one else take control and submit to someone. I love the look of a girl kneeling on a leash and there are times that I have thought about others doing it as well... Like our neighbor and her husband and I have to wonder if they are kinky or not..and then I realize it's none of my business but still... There was a time I was in a online relationship and had an online mistress and I loved the idea of doing what she said and after awhile it fizzled out and I have realized I need to focus on what I want and then there is the other part..

As much as I have all this going on in my head, I would love to play with myself and that is so freaking hard to do.i used to get off quite frequently and i loved it and I guess with all the stress of trying to get another job, etc... I have a hard time getting myself off and I miss that feeling.

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